dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
