so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
