So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
