Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
