ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
