I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
there was a trapeze. enough said
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
