yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm at about main and main street
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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