He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
