btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
