just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
