The maid of honor just puked.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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