I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
