That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
