Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize