24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize