He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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