Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
