if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
