after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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