I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
