I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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