I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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