So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
