is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How's work?
Spinning.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
