So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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