I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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