no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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