My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
