i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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