We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
