sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
