are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's rum buckets o'clock
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
