she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
be right there i have to get my cape
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize