Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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