Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize