we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
