After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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