I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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