I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize