So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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