either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
