I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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