I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
