Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
