you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
