my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
