Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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