The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
