can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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