Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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