I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
