I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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