So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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