I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize