I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
