Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
