i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
