I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize