I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
