wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
